Redneck Mecca

     On Tuesday I went to Mobile with my future step-children. The purpose of this trip was to go to Bass Pro Shop. I have no idea why they wanted to go, and I don't want to know, but go we did. Let me tell you I have never been surrounded by so much worship of all things country and redneck.  I am still trying to wash the hillbilly out of my clothes. Now before you go all "But West, you like silly things too!", I would just like to say that liking goofy TV shows is a lot different than living my life like the characters in those shows. There is a difference between having a Duck Dynasty Shirt, buying the actual clothes, or using the Beard Gel that they use. I walked into this place and was in awe of how large it is.

This place looks like a Cathedral. There is a huge array of t-shirts and hats at the door to entice you. The entry looked much like the lobby of some mountain lodge. There is a comfortable sitting area and a large fireplace. People have to walk through a turnstile like a ride at Six Flags. I've never been in a store this big devoted to country leisure time activities.

This is a view of the sales floor from the balcony. Perhaps you can grasp the scale of the place. Massive doesn't do it justice. 

     The items for sale are a monument to some people's bad taste, like these pillows:

Apparently this is their biggest selling pillow. It pains me that thousands of people have that bad of taste. What is the point to this? Is it so that the family can match the pillow after hunting all day in their camo?  What kind of color scheme can this possibly go with? As my fiancee says, "it's very eye rapey".

     Nothing says I'm backwoods like this beautiful mounted fish mailbox:

My God! That thing costs over a hundred dollars! Why on earth anyone would want this, I have no idea.

     This store is so big that one could become thirsty after all the walking.  Good thing there is a general store inside the store. A store inside the store! Geez!:

I bet you thought I was kidding.